A Monday, June 05, 2006
HEY EVERYONE! (again)
A long post ahead, I reckon.
I went school today to play volleyball with Hui Hui and Jason for a while before attending the less interesting SIA talk. Rushed to meet Huyu at JP and we joked a bit at Delifrance. Tomorrow's Nigel's and Peiyong's birthdays and we're finally meeting up again! 6/6/2006, how cool is that?!
I dread holiday assignments with the mention of school. It's not as if self-revision is pressurising enough, I realised I've to come to school for the whole of this week and I've to be in school by 8 tomorrow. JC's really robbing me of my time but then again, I think all these are part and parcel of being a student so to those who're hanging by the edge, pull yourself together all right!
And I would like to talk about my realisation last Saturday while I was playing tennis and I think this time it's for real. I really want to become a better person and the first thing I'm going to accomplish would be eradicating profanities for my daily bank of vocabulary. I used to think it was perfectly okay to spew vulgarities in various languages but I realised it's extremely uncouth and it's like a subtle self-mockery if you haven't realise. Sounds pretty impossible but I would try my best and very proud of myself for not using any vulgarities today! STOP all the vulgarities people, unless you want to be staring walking examples of self-mockery who would be despised.
Anyhow, I got this feeling cracks have found their ways into my family already and they're creeping in between my parents. Everyone's who had interact with my family before normally said how close knitted we're and how humourous my family can be. I wouldn't deny that point but I think my dad is really starting to cross over the line of basic respect which never fails to anger my mum. My mum is seriously a wonderwoman I would say cos she takes care of every single microscopic details but she had to give up her youth at the expense of taking care of the household. The cruel reality has it that youth can't be returned in whatever means unless you consider plastic surgery which I think is indeed very superficial so my mum had lost something extremely valuable to a woman yet my dad remains extremely insensitive to her.
I abhorred the way my dad behaves at home and I really do. I mean he often snaps at my mum for no reason and should I describe him as a bull more than a human cos that bull never seem to be willing to accept people's opinions which is increasingly irritating by the day when you're trying to convey a message to him. My dad just don't understand the role of a father and the lackadaisical approach towards this family is simply beyond redemption. That's why I don't talk to him; I hate to communicate with him. What happened to family?
Perfect family portrait: Mum, Me, Sara and Gina.
I'm not selfish nor am I diminishing my dad's role in this family but after prolonged detest for him, sometimes you just can't turn back. You can't.
I just wish school will reopen now so I can 06L01 again and just joke around with them during lessons and play volleyball after school. Or just go find a comfortable place in Coffee Bean to drink coffee and eat cheesecake for a very simple pleasure. Or just sit in my room to reminsce about all the wonderful camps I attended in JJ.
Anything. Really.
To make me happy instead of brooding over so much things inside.
Argh. TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY.
retro in me. Monday, June 05, 2006